Today’s post is very personal to me and I think to many working parents, as well. I am posting this on my boys’ 10th birthday. Just two weeks ago, my daughter celebrated her 16th birthday. The end of this year also marks my mom’s 80th birthday and my company’s 20th anniversary. Time sure does fly! These milestones have really made me reflect on my time as an entrepreneur, a daughter and a mom.
Finding balance between running a business and running a family isn’t easy. I started Just Marry! because I knew that I wanted to be a mother and I figured that having my own business would allow me to create my own schedule and spend more time with my family. I was partially right.
As the business took off, I found myself working really long hours. When my daughter was born, I managed to work those hours in between nursing her and playing with her on a twenty-four hour rotation, but it was exhausting.
When my twins came along, my father had just passed away. I had to make time for the babies as well as my grieving mom, while also giving attention to my six-year-old daughter and my very busy business. Anyone who knew me back then knows that I was a bit crazy! At the time, I thought that I had everything under control, but I really think that I was burning the candle at both ends and giving just enough of myself to appease everyone. I wasn’t a master mom, a master daughter or a master business person, but I got through it and everyone seemed happy.
Looking back, I can’t say that I regret anything. I believe that I got to spend more time with my family than I would have if I had been working a regular job in my field. However, I could have done better.
It wasn’t until recently that I drew some boundaries and really made time for work during certain hours and family during other hours. It has helped me be a better mom, daughter and business owner. Here are a few things that I have done that perhaps you can incorporate into your life:
- Ignore My Cellphone: Yes, during certain hours I actually don’t look at my cell phone. This has been my hardest issue to conquer. I used to look at that phone all the time to check voice mail and email. Now, whenever I get the urge, I tell myself to concentrate on living in that moment. Whether it be spending time with the family or working with clients, I try not to let personal or business calls intrude on that moment.
- Eat Dinner with My Family (When I’m Home): Cooking dinner used to be so hard for me, mostly because I grew up with my mom cooking amazing meals from scratch every single day. I couldn’t live up to that, so I would often order delivery meals and we would eat in shifts or go out to dinner, which took up too much time in the evening and caused us to rush around to get homework and household chores done. Now, even if all I can muster is soup and sandwiches, we sit down and talk and spend quality time together.
- Take Days Off: I think that’s really hard for small business owners. If you aren’t working, you aren’t making money. Honestly, I have found that my days off make me more productive when I am working, so don’t skip those down days!
I am far from perfect when it comes to balancing my work life and my home life, but I have become very aware of how going out of balance affects me. When I lose that balance, I feel guilty about time not spent with my children, and I feel under-productive when I work. Now, I snap back into balance as quickly as possible.
How do you find balance in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
And happy birthday to my amazing little boys – two out of three of my most spectacular accomplishments!
